The Importance of Debriefing a Birth
I am passionate about birth debriefing and I bring that passion to my work as a doula. It all stems from a debrief I had with the nurse who attended the birth of my first born in 2017. She helped me understand a part of the birthing experience that had caused me a lot of confusion. If you're interested in reading the whole story, you can do that here.
As a result of this pivotal experience, birth debriefs are one of my favourite parts of working as a doula. After every birth I offer to sit down with my client (either immediately after the birth, or within the first few weeks) and talk over the timeline and events of their birth. I see often that being able to have conversation afterwards enables people to feel reassured and validated about things that they were unable to ask questions about or process during the labour process.
I also see huge value in debriefing previous birth trauma for clients who come to me pregnant with baby number two or beyond. For clients who have experienced a difficult birth in the past, I prioritize a conversation where we discuss what happened. I listen to my client as they express their feelings about the birth and make sure that they feel heard. I also try and shed light on why things may have happened the way they did. This, in a way, helps people re-write their journey - not to negate or deny trauma, but to provide reassurance that their feelings are heard, their fears are valid, and pave the way to understanding that next time can, and will, be different.
Debriefing previous birth trauma is a process of listening, providing a sounding board, and offering insight. Further, sometimes it is also helping people understand that physical trauma and mental trauma are separate. By this I mean that even when something physically “traumatic” happens (e.g., baby gets stuck and a forceps delivery is recommended) it doesn’t mean emotional trauma is inevitable. When people are given the opportunity to express their feelings, understand their choices, and own their experience—of their body and their baby—a radically different result is possible. They are likely to come away from a physically traumatic event feeling empowered, rather than emotionally traumatized.
Every person has the right to this care. In Canada it is the law that people are provided informed consent in a healthcare setting. It is your right to make decisions about your body and your baby yourself. When this is absent, trauma prevails and debriefing birth becomes all the more important.
It is not “care” where people do things because they are told to, with little to no explanation or understanding of the recommended way to move forward. During attendance at births, I advocate for people to experience care that prioritizes informed consent. Afterwards, I help people revisit these difficult moments and process why they made certain decisions in the moment - reassuring them that they made it with all variables in mind.
I believe deeply in the power of debriefing. It transforms the way you feel about your births. Furthermore, it results in a completely different birth story for you to tell your children, so they too can be raised to believe that birth (in all its forms) is empowering, rewarding, and absent of suffering.
Click these links if you’re interested in reading more about generational perceptions of labour and what I consider to be the difference between pain and suffering.
